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Friday, January 27, 2006

Tanorexia

I just wanna start this off on a serious note people, tanorexia can affect anyone. Especially your superficial girlfriends, women in their 40's, and pale redheads like me.
Lohan looks a little ummm, I don't know, like she got too much of that JLo glow stuff. It kinda reminds me of how I used to attempt that bronze goddess look.
Needless to say it looked like crap, or as if I took a can of matte paint and streaked it up and down my legs, which then of course rubbed off onto everything else. Not only that but my entire body would self-stick to everything that wasn't tied down or wasn't heavier than me.

Another great incident was when I went to this local lady who air brushed tans. Yeah right, it was more like she re-versed a large vacum on me that left me dripping with some sort of brown substance. Next thing I heard was my mom saying in shock that I blended well into the couch. Thats not good at all because our couch is a poop brown color.

And its not attractive walking around town looking like a human sized turd.

I say all this embarassing stuff to warn others considering tanning themselves to death. I never listened enough to my good friends who embraced my natural paleness..........ok.....flawless skin.

So just say no to tanning beds. Tha'd make a great t-shirt by the way.


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