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Thursday, March 30, 2006

LOST


Oh dang it! What was this post about again? I totally forgot. I don't know why...........because every time I look at these pictures...............yeah. So you all know I'm already an addict for this show. and if they don't include some Sawyer-face time.....I'm usually grumpy by the end. Damn those producers! Don't they know how important he is to the show?
Ok anyway, so last night's episode wasn't even about him, but who cares right? right?
Wait! What this sticky wet substance all over the keyboard!? ewww........oh wait, sorry just drool.
Wipes down keyboard
Anyway, so basically Locke (that older wiseman guy) basically goes through his previous life flashbacks, gets his legs stuck under a door, and finds a secret message on the door under blue light.
It left me with nothing but the words: "OHMYGOSH"! "OOOOHHMYYYGOSH"!
So it was dubbed to be the episode that "changes everything". Yeah right....snickers..........and I fell for it. yeah I know. But if it involves anything with Sawyer or Sayid and them just waving a gun or beating the crap outta somone..........you know I'm watching....or more like becoming one with the tv.
Pathetic? yes, I admit to it, but with pride my fellow readers.
P.S.
I hope you all are coming up with good excuses for me to miss Easter dinner. I encourage you all to do somthing productivly stupid for me so I can spend my 5 minutes in the hospital with you.
Merci.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Easter 2006

This is a public plea people. So listen up! Normally every holiday I try a suck up as much as I can, and grin to all the relatives....even the ones who are still patting my behind............AHEM.
So what I need from you, my fellow subject, ahem, blog readers is to help me come up with or plot a good excuse to miss Easter lunchon.
This years great feast to be held at none other than my grandma Horst's kitchen.
Dear God, I pray that I might not be forced to eat ham dripping with greasy cheese and forced to eat that warm "low-fat" cheesecake again. ACK!
So to anyone who can think up a good excuse or can fake a death/illness really well I promie I will reward you for such horrid behavior.
Wink Wink
Just be sure to leave any ideas on the comments page okay. I keep getting bombarded with dozens of emails and its clogging up.
!!!!!HELP SAVE HEATHER FROM EASTER GRANDMA!!!!!

My shoes

When I first tried these babys on, it was magic. About 3 inches of magic really. About $79.00 bucks worth of magic to look hot. And it all only lasted about a minute.
I just bought these and I'm already still drooling over the pictures, waiting like a hungry animal for them to come in the mail. And then once I get the box, I'll rip it open and the box'll be flying.
In all honesty I'm not a shoe person nor a handbag person like the rest of my friends are. I don't spend $7.99 on every cheap, cute bag/shoe there is out there. In fact I dispise women who do that.
Because in the end it all adds up and you could have gotten that great expensive high-quality pair in the first place.
I know some girls who can literally swim in all their bags and shoes. I shake my head in shame.
The suckers I just bought here cost me about $80.00 but since I take good care of my heels I'll have them forever and they match with everything!
Did mention they are drop dead hot as well?
I just love that whole 1940's war pin-up girl look.
Ok nough said, cause I'm blushing now.

Expeirmenting with Japanese food

This picture sucks I know, unfortunatly at the time I hadn't discovered using white paper as a background. Slaps forehead. I was really scared of this at first, I don't know why but eventually I over came my fear of paste-y things and scooped the soy bean paste out. Its extremely salty though so watch out if you don't want to turn into a balloon.
the greens.............
Ahhh yummy smelling Miso. My finished product and its all mine ready too eat!
Okay, is this not an awesome picture? Alright I admit I'm sounding a bit lame here but it seems that I have much more coolness to make up for it.
Pocky, seems to have a cult-snackers-following so I figured I'll try a bite from one. I've known a few people that have gone through entire boxes of these things.
Personally I give this stuff a #5 rating. Why? because although chocolate part was good, the biscuity stick........it was like I could easily taste the salt.
Maybe its just me, but I just gave the rest to dad.

Monday, March 27, 2006

Dad+Gun+Cat+Propane tank= super fun explosion!

Yeeeaah so yesterday at dinner my dad and I spied that most annoying cat howling its usual love song for anyone. I hate that damn cat. Every night and morning it straggles around my window meowing so loud! I banged on my window once and that shut it up.
Anyway, so my dad had a very clear shot at it. Cats and other stray animals don't last long on our property. So if you happen to let your dog or cat lose without first telling us, then it'll probably meet its demise by my dad rifle.
So anyway, here is this stupid cat clear out in the open and the poor thing has no clue its about to die within the next 5 mintues.

So what does it do? It decides to sit right in front of my dad's propane tank. Hehehehe. I would have laughed so hard if my dad shot it and seeing the barn go with it in flames. I also would have laughed at the fact my dad would be so stupid to do that and see him explain it to the cops after our neighbors call 911.
HA-HA-HA-HA!

Sadly dad missed the tank and shot the poor little fella dead in the head. My would seriously think abotu firing my butt if she was reading this now.

Sooo the cats lying there.......and then BOOM! it start flying and jumping all over in the air.

ME: DAD! DAD! WHAT THE HECK DID YOU DO?!!!! OHMYGOD! ITS LIKE ITS POSSED BY A DEMON OR SOMTHING!!! OHMAGAH!

Of course it wasn't possed, although that would have been sorta cool, except when it would probably start eating my kitties. But it was like that cat just flew into life or somthing because it really the furiously jumping all over and fur was flying! Even my yellow kitty, Sunshine freaked out from eating food. Looks up ears pert with a look on the face of "OHMAHGOD! WHAT THE HECK?!!!!".

So after it did its little jump n' jive dance its soul finally was put to peace. Undearneath about 3 feet of dirt. Somwhere in our vinyard........

I'm starting to wonder how many dead animals we have buried out there now. Really because we could have an animal graveyard on our property.
I could possibly make cash with this.................

Putting your beloved friend to rest hmmmmmm. Stick some nice flowers and a bunch of jibber jabber on how animals are better than us and I think I've got somthing.

Anyway, so thats that.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

and.......


Oh and yeah, if you happen to maybe look like this and sitting in my living room looking like that scene with sharon stone from Basic Instinct. Then ok, yeah I'll marry you. cause like......ohmygosh this picture is like..............ladies you absolutly know what I mean.

Hints for the future...............

If for some strange reason I marry a person whos reading this, take me to this place after the wedding.

Hints for the future...............

If for some strange reason I marry a person whos reading this, take me to this place after the wedding.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

NOOOOOOOO!!!!

This is either a sad or happy day ladies. He looks more like a Maylasian transexual to me here. Either that or he's really gotten in touch with fem things. Personally I feel that some women's things should always be kept private. After all those movies, after looking so damn hot in all of them..............and now this picture just breaks it all down. I weep for this.

Monday, March 20, 2006

uuuuuuuuuuuuuggggggggaaahhhhh

Thats all I have to say really............my true feelings at the moement. This is kinda mood that kills any reason(s) for romance.

him: you look so beautiful in the light, I think I love you.

Me: ummm uurrrggaaahhh bllaaahhhh..........what now?

him: I uuuhhhh..... (purposly loses train of thought).

Me: no really what were you going to say, you know I'm going to get it out of you sooner or later. Was because I burped? was it the urrrmmm meellgllaah bllaahhhhh???

Me: yeah.....okay....whatever.

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Trouble at Costco

I'm a normal Costco fan/lover. I love how you can get more food than you'll ever eat in a week. I also love battling it out for asile space each time I go there.

Except for this time..................

I was in sad need of retail therapy. Having just canceled a trip, I wanted somthing to fill that void. So I did what I know best. Shopping. Whether it be getting gormet food to clothing. Whatever my heart desires for the day.
Thankfully mom was on my side that day, blew too much money, and ended the day with Costco which was a mad house.
People's carts piling up everywhere, boxs flying through the air........ok I'm lying, but they did spill alot of them today.
Anyway so here we are waiting in line, backed up into the snack food isles, slowing inching forward, inching!
When of course this lady rams her cart into my butt! It wasn't like she rammed into me, but she definatly pushed really into it. I didn't say anything at first, but shot her a look. You know those "looks".
I shot her the "that-was-rude-you-better-watch-hussy-next-time" look. I also replied with "geezzzz".
Needless to say, she didn't say sorry and just gave me a blank stare.

BIG MISTAKE!!!

So I put my tough girl skills out there and used my very thick butt and pushed back into her cart. HA-HA. Thats right, I totally used my rear to push back. I make my family and friends proud.

So we move forward a bit again, guess what genius does behind me again. Pushes her cart into my ass again! By then I have had it. I relied again on my bum and pushed back into her cart, only this time I really leaned back into it and said "EXCUSE ME"!!

From then on, miss pushbutt didn't try it on me again. Lucky for her. Cause I was in no mood to be messed with that hour.

Maybe it was the turkey sandwhich or the venti latte I had............whichever. I just won't take somone rammed their cart into my rear.
So just watch out for me at the grocery store ok. I know those places like......like.....my magazines. I wanted to avoid cliched wording again.

Friday, March 17, 2006

Crash n' stuff.........yeah I don't have anything better to here

On a common fluke to the grocery store, I decided to waste my afternoon huddled in blankets watching movies. My key choices for this St. Patty's Day: Crash and Pride&Predjudice.
Two very different movies.
Anyway I just finished Crash and was blown away by it. Although there are many f-words and a nudity scene, you kinda had ot just brush off. Coming from where I live and hardly hearing anyone uttering curse words other than "crap" all the time, it did take some getting used to.
But I found this movie to be very effective and made me really think just how fast people get so angry and move in on their pre-concieved thoughts on people.
Thats especially easy where I live and its always about the whites vs. mexicans.
I thought about suggesting this movie to my parents but then realized all my dad would get out of it is how many f-words they said, or nudity etc etc. Just goes to show that he really dosen't listen.
So tonight I've gotta watch some Jane Austin, least for my friend's sake so I can have a conversation with them. I'm not the type that re-reads all the Jane Austin novels. Sure it'd be great to play around during that time, but actually living it?!!!
I couldn't imagine pooping in a ceramic bowl let alone OUTSIDE! Dogs might be watching..........or horses....or whatever else animals roamed the earth. Dodos or somthing.
Besides that, I'd probably just use my time machine to grab all the crap I could so I could later sell it in the future.

Me: So uuhhh..........how much do you think I could sell that antique pooper? or actually that sword or whatever. I'm sure some stupid geek might wanna buy it to prove to himself and internet buddies that he's a man.

My friends: (strong looking stares)

Me: Why are you looking at me like that? I just wanna make a profit. Its security for the future!

My friends: Heather your too funny, now drop the stuff and let it go.

Me: HECK NO! I'm fighting for this!

My friends: Grabes priceless antique thingy, wrestles to ground. SMASH!

Ahh yes, and there we have it. I can tie in the whole CRASH-movie theme. Yes we are all tied together and somtimes "crash" into each other. In my case somone crashed my freakin priceless antique I was gonna hack off. Thanks.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Why my dad is an ASSHOLE!

Wouldn't you all really like to know?! Well for starters the asshole loses his temper at the drop of a hat. When I don't answer his precious question right off the bat, the asshole has to raise his almighty voice and yell: ANSWER ME!!!!!
Well ya know what.........FUCK IT AND YOU! He's always saying how he asks God to help change his ways if needed. Heres a clue idiot. Stop yelling and if I don't answer you all the fucking time. Then let it go!
Of all the the stupid things to say, "yeah you know I can still come over there and whoop you". Yeah I'd like to see you try that, idiot, I can rally enough support on me to make you look like such a freakin beater that when your talking to people, they'll really be looking down on you. Which they already do.
SO just keep making a fool of yourself at home stupid. I can rally against you.
Don't mess with me because if you make me mad enough I might just let you suffer in your pain which gives me pleasure.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Gifts from NY

The following came from a great girl over in NY who spends her time either blogging about various eats around NY or probably listening to Magnet, like I am today. Thanks a million Robyn!
Yeah, I felt so incredibly stupid after this one; I was listening to the other cd, never even looked at the back side of the case to see that he autographed it.
Thats right, this shirt says it all. I love it! Oh and probably cause I got it for free too. But besides that you don't see this kinda truth in Sunnyside, everyone is still sporting stupid American Eagle garb printed all over them.
Hehehe its a poofy shirt!

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Chocolate Swap

So below are some of the following items I have receievd from my fab swap partner delana from the U.K. She totally outdid me and blew my mind when I open the box. THANK YOU DELANA!This by far was the most different candy bars I have ever tried in my life! Its a low-fat candy bar. 130 calories and 10 grams of fat. Not bad for a huge bar. Plus it has has all whole grain rice in it and rasphberry preserves. Different but delicious.
Another delicious item I got in my box. I just love hand-made items like this. Its my "smores" scarf
Backside instructions on how to crack these eggs open. Took me a few attempts, but after finally jabbing the lid open and half the time flipping it across the room.........I got it open! See below.
Yeah, ok I know the insides aren't that appealing but come on' its inside! I love chocolate egg-insides.
These were..semi-interesting. But good. I really couldn't taste the dark chocolate, but the white part of these pandas were quiet creamy.
If you've ever had a Charleston Chew bar, then this would best describe its texture only harder to chew. I wouldn't give these to a person with dentures.
Hehehe....minty balls, yeah it brings out my stupid 13 year old humor. You don't see this kinda packaging in the U.S.MY FAVORITES! I adore Cadbury. Why don't we have this in the U.S.? The biscuit is by far my favorite.
And here is the whole sheebang. Well except for the scarf, but whatever I adored and ate it all!

Friday, March 10, 2006

Who has the better hair?


Who has the better hair?
Rob
Heather
Free polls from Pollhost.com


Yeah this is a fun little competition I'm having between me and rob. Vote for Heather!!! I've got the firey red hair!!!!

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Oscar Night

Its Oscar night people, I'll be watching. Don't call me!

Saturday, March 04, 2006

MySpace = whorehouse

MySpace makes me depressed. Thats why I hardly ever go on there. Plus the fact that its a whore house. Every time I do randomly go on to check out things, I usually end up spending a whole freakin hour looking at other people's profiles and their gorgeous bodies etc. It makes me feel like a worthless piece of crap.
This stuff makes it so hard to be a Christian. Desire to do good, set an example, listen to God. But at the same, just breaking out of that box somtimes would be nice.
But one thing I've noticed for sure, is that girls really are just putting themselves up for sex and that most modles are just horney bitches.
Anyway, I stopped off at Chuckar Cherries today to pick up a few treats for some special people and realized that those Myspacin chicks probably wouldnt touch chocolate if earth came into a big freeze down. They wouldn' be freezing the fat off them cause they don't have any.........sooo its probably left to their deteriorating bones.
Penguins will most likely become the new meat. Very sad. Plus they really couldn't run away fast......unless they just tried to waddle away. Thats when I come in and try to save all them and become enemy no 1#.
Just tryin to save the penguins!

My Psychology class has Classy Girls

Yeah, guys I can really pick out a few desperate looking women for you. They really don't do much so you'd probably never have to worry about them cheating on you. They usually sit and eat gobs of chips, licorice, and candy bars, or even a McBurger for breakfast.
You also probably won't have to worry about them spending tons of money on clothing because they usuall wear sweats or really tight pants. And the best part is that most of them are really, really, REALLY single from all the divorces they've had.
And you don't have to worry about changing poopy diapers because most of their kids are already potty trained 12 year olds.
I must say the guys in the class aren't any better. Most look to me like, they've been scrapped off the bottom of a car or somthing. Thats probably where they sleep right? Under a car? kidding.

Friday, March 03, 2006

Celebrities are classy

Class act. Straw and bottle of champagne. My boss would be proud.
I'm trying to process this picture into my head of what NOT to look like 20 years from now. I just, I honstly don't even get this picture. She looks like a brazilian wannabe prostitute who sucked on too much heroin to make her lips big. Ick.
Bless all those who have passed around this photo of Emma Watson's under age drinking. If this didn't slap her all over the face then I'm sure that beer bottle probably will later on.
Yeah, really ummmm......natural...with giving off the finger and all. perp.
The funniest comment I read about this was, was how the two girls are posing to be sexy, but they don't seem to remember that Lindsey Lohan is right between them. Nice try.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

We all know that a very important and holy night is upon us all this Sunday. Its a time where we all go to praise one another, a place where half our nations' celebrities come to worship a little golden man named: Oscar.
Cue the fantasy music:
And now we enter into my dream: I'm usually on the red carpet all strung up and practically choking with jewlery and sporting a sleek gown for the ceremonies. "Please please I cannot sign anymoe autographs, devoted fans". "This 40 carat ring from my 3 time Oscar winner husband is weighing me all down".
Oh wait, and whos that I see coming toward me............why its George clooney.........what? you want to? what?! SERIOUSLY WHAT?! I can't hear you from everyone shouting my name.
As I make my way into the outragously decked out theater, and skip to the part where BEST ACTRESS is being announced. I hear...............my name. Yes, I win BEST ACTRESS!!! I guess that stirring performace about when I killed my husband over a dinner mint really was the icing on my cake. or ax......or whatever............
I sweep up onto the stage, displaying my best crying/surprised look and weep and end up telling my life story for the next half hour while America is captivated by it all.
After that, my life becomes a whirlwind of parties, mints, free goody bags, gossip and rumours, then I end up losing it all from inventing in too many cat-toy products and end up living in the slums of Beverly Hills as a half-crazed woman trying to melt my oscar down to pawn off as real gold for mints. I'll be the best half crazy lady with the freshest mouth in Hollywood.

ok, and the nominees are..............

Which movie do you think should win for Best Picture?
Brokeback Mountain
Capote
Crash
Goodnight and Good Luck
Munich
Weekend at Bernies
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Hottie

If this is not the absolute picture of sexy, then I must be a total idiot. The again from time to time I've made alot of publicly known stupid mistakes.
This lovely shot of pete dorhty (he's kate moss's bf) was taken because the idiot steals cars. Honestly, this guy looks like a piece of crap tossed onto the side of road and then rammed over a few times before turning itself into a bloody plup. I also don't really fantasize looking into my herion-addicted boyfriend's eyes. Unless of course I was also on meth and had the stars in my eyes too. Then it'd be legit.
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