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Saturday, April 29, 2006

Sex and the magazine(s)

It's funny really, I always seem to find out interesting stuff about my dad and what he thinks whenever I'm alone with mom.
Today's episode delt with the fact when my dad found that Men's Health magazine.
You know the one, with all the pictures of Josh Holloway. The one where I posted nearly every picture of him on here.
That one.
Anyway, I left my magazine out or either he went through the pile of garbage magazines and was shocked at what was in there and that I read it.
Yeah, think about sex all the to please a woman.
Seriously, I'm all for printing that kinda stuff because some men out there don't have a clue and are WILLING to learn a few tricks.
I don't know if he thinks I'm still an 8 year old, pre-hormonal girl, but somthing is wrong with his picture.
I'd actually like to be bit prepaired before my marriage and for sex after it of course. Because I really wouldn't want to end up being all shellshocked after the wedding.
If I didnt know most of what I knew now during that special time, I guarrante I'd be shocked or disturbed...........take your pick.
Besides that, I wouldn't want to be the girl who just lays there through it and have no interaction.
Thats just stupid.
Okay soooo my point is..................ummm mm.........crap.
My point is this: Its better to be pre-paired and know a few tricks to make you and him happy.
I rest my case your honor.

Friday, April 28, 2006

Honest to God people, is it just me or is everything against me today?
Well of course everything couldn't possibly be against me, because my now I would have suffered a horrid long death.
Sooooo psychologically..............everything is against me. Yeah that makes sense.
Actually I just had a terribly hectic day. Between trying to keep (mom paying for my hair cut) from dad, to my hair dresser running 30 min late for the second time to burning red eyebrows. Oh yeah then I got my period.

Normally I try to stay away from personal information like that, but I swear it was just a big day full of annoyances.

Right now I just feel so gross and huge...........periods ruin everything! Its true. No matter how hard a woman tries it just ends up going downhill.

Usually for me, when that time comes.......I stay home. Completly. And I've been blessed to be able to do that. I don't know how those pioneer women did, or when wearing huge hoops skirts and all. The worst of it is the poor women had only two choices. Either outhouse..........or pee pot.

Sadly, that was main and original form of a pregnancy test waaaaaayy waaaaayyyy waaayyyyy back in the dey. Either that, or you knew somthing was up when you start to rapidly gain weight and then begin to expierence heavy pains and POOF! a little human comes out. SURPRISE you were pregnant all along! and you thought it was just gas!

So how did we get off and into all that now...........oh right I was venting about my life. yeah sucks.....right. Kidding. I know I'm extrememly blessed and grateful.

Alright I'm gonna stop here bacuse I can go on and on and on about me and then this post will get too long because I know most of you don't read very much nor hold enough patience to read all this. Heck I'm lucky you've even gotten this far.

Until then.....................


Wednesday, April 26, 2006

I'm gonna be a supermodel

See if I became a supermodel I could hang out and do fun things like crack and get drunk on beer all the time. Cause thats what supermodels do the last time I checked.
Not only that, but I'd have a really hot rocker of a boyfriend. Isn't he hot? I mean when he's not wasted out like a coke-head he's really actually a great guy.
And it gets better! I'd be on all the major mags. Not just the trashy gossip ones.
And just to let everyone know, that yeah......supermodels have to diet too. Just yesterday I half a tic-tac, two lines of coke, and one rum n' coke. I'm telling you it's hard to make it as a supermodel.

Hopfully you all won't take this seriously, cause really I dispise this kinda behavior and you'd have to be a crazy coked out idiot to keep doing what Kate Moss does. Marrying a drug-addicted baboon who doesen't even know reality exsists while having your child in that environment is basically the fastest way to turn her life into a crappy mess like yours.

Monday, April 24, 2006

Do I really look like a Koala when I sleep?">%20src="Find%20your%20own%20

I dunno why I did this. Maybe because I'm like all the other curious smucks out there trying to find another stupid quiz to define certain parts of my life.
I must say though, that I don't sleep at all like that in the picture. Plus I've never slept with anyone. Well with a guy I mean.
But most of time, I usually end up rolling into my poor friend if that does happen.
One of the best sleeping memories I ever had was during my trip to D.C. I shared a bed with a friend and I remember I kept getting hit and shoved by her. Little did I realize that I smooshing the poor girl off the bed.
Next morning I find myself wedged between the bed and the wall. How I got myself to be in that position I'll never know, but it was funny as hell.
Here's where you can find out your own pose:

Pimpin food

Okay I don't know who would do this to some poor unsuspecting loaf of yummy bread, but I will give snaps for creativity. I sorta view this as a hillbilly's version of a birthday cake. They just don't get it.
The following piccys came from a great place for those of you who like to abuse this poor loaf of bread.
Man that is sooooo gross!!! Its amazing to me what people do to slaughter food. This is disgraced hamburger! Hamburger On ACID!
My God! This looks like it could take a life of its own. Just pour some mustard on the thing and there you go. A living piece of mold even though there isn't any mold on it. Actually it kinda reminds me of a weird japanimation cartoon character.....the hamburger spirit.

Saturday, April 22, 2006


All I can say is: OH-MY-GOD! God has got goooood taste!
Ummmmm, will you marry me? I know thats suppose to be the other way around, but i just had to take a stupid chance.
You know that little voice in your head that says, "you shouldn't, you couldn't, you just plain can't"! Well, I didn't listen to that voice, in fact I hardly ever do which is somthing I should start doing more but most likely wont.
Okay, when I first saw this at the grocery store, I think my life stopped for about 10 seconds then came back. It was really werid. I knew I had to have this picture, but I felt I'd be questioned or weird for getting a Men's magazine. But screw it, I got it anyway.
And there hasn't been ony girl who I've shown this picture too and not had an all-out stare! It cause he's HOT!!!!
I don't know if its my sex-drive or what because I think its from being in a Christian school and having our sexual drives being repressed all the time, but from what I've seen, everyone who graduated from that school is majorly sexual. I don't get it, but at least I can say that sex won't be boring with me.
Alright I've said waayy too much.

This late I know, but

I just like the way it looks. really. Pocky inside glass vase. Yes thats what I'll call it. I am Heather.....I am genius.
Nayway, the following chocolate items has been shipped to me from the wonderful Rob in Toronto. I can't thank him enough for all the sinfully good goodies.
Yumm these were extra yummy. I don't remember seeing any MARS bars around here for forever. The Dove and Cabury eggs were very melt-in-yo-mouth delicious. Why dosen't America have these? We could go to war over this, at least its legit.
It says: Kinder MEGA Mix. WoW.
Inside this little box of Kinder fun I got three mini sticks of milk chocolate which had a really interesting white milk base inside, but tasted devine. The Kinder Egg surprise was suprisingly easy to open. I thought for sure it would be crushed by opening, inside I found a giant plastic yellow n' orange pill which hence, contained my prize: a mini puzzle. I still don't get it.
But it also came with a larger bar that was filled with hazelnut filling, sadly I had to pass that one on. But I did manage to get a kick outta of the uber-happy bunny and insect stickers. Everyone is always so happy.
I've had some similar ones before from the U.K. by Cadbury and yes they are quiet tasty. Though half the battle is stabbing the outter shell to get into the creamy chocolate inside, its well worth the battle I'd say because the inside is filled with a nice light creamy filling.
I'd really love to give these to some little kids just to watch them stab at it for about 10 min till they start whining and shove it back at me to open it for them.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Reasons Why I haven't Posted

  1. I have been recently abducted.
  2. I've been lazy.
  3. Nothing has happened.
  4. My dad hid the digital camera so I can't take any pictures.
  5. I've done some cheating.......I've been spending a bit too much time over on MySpace.
  6. I'm writing a tell-all gossip fest book about my life. Yeah I'm naming names people so watch out!
  7. I like to drive.
  8. I've been spending too much cyber-window shopping.
  9. I still haven't figured out why everyone reads my blog.
  10. You must love me so much to still keep reading this list.

Monday, April 17, 2006

random....random crap postings

This would make a very intersting wedding dress. Very mod looking don't you think? I am in luv with stuff like this. I just gotta get a dark nior-black wig to match.

I'm so doing this to a pair of cheap-o sneaks. As for the picture on the left........I just like it. I love the look and how alternative it is. If I ever decide to get into that depressive-ressesive mode, I'm going with a look like that.

Honestly I don't know why i stole this picture from somone's website. I just thought it looked cool, because I actually like really alternative looking cartoon characters. I really need my own cartoon or comic made of myself. None of that indie-chick crap.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Candy is Dandy but Liqour is quicker and how I survived Easter 06'

Man, I really must have forgotton about yesterday entirely. Thats really pathetic cause when I started writing this piece, I almost began to repeat myself over.
Umm anyway, so yeah obviously I did survive Easter. Many thanks to Johnathan in taking part of the escape.
Soooo last night was interesting. After burrowing my rear into the couch to watch another year of original "The 10 Comandments" I got a phone call from a friend and thus began my adventure for the night.
We meet up at this local mexican restaurant, and ate our way through chips n' tortilla soup and I had my first White Russian. It a latte with vodka in it. It tasted a bit bitter to me at first but gradually it began tasting better with each sip.
So after drinking, I had to use the bathroom and as girls do we went together and they had one of those weird automatic paper towel dispenser things, which we had a little too much fun with. I'm sure that explains why everyone was staring at us after we came out.
Its really hard to pee and laugh. I'm sure you guys just had to know that about me.
So we decided to go hopping around to friend's houses, and ended up dying eggs, meeting friend's boyfriend's etc etc.
Then straying off into prosser. With that after picking up a friend we ended up getting pulled over for speeding. Thankfully I wasn't driving, but it turns out the cop liked us, and his partner in the back knew my friend. I'm pretty sure that played a part in avoiding the ticket I'm also sure that the Jesus bobble head too with the police lights blarring behind it.
So with that our last stop was stupid walmart which had been ripped to shreds from last minute people getting Easter items.
So make a boring story shorter, I got dumped off at home and staggared my into the house with khalua all over my breath and slept in the longest ever: 9:30 am.
So I spent (sadly and regretably) easter morning drinking tons of tea n' water trying to flush out the last of the alcohol. Meanwhile I had no clue when easter dinner was so it was sorta a chance game of when my friend would call to get me outta there. I finally broke and called my grandparents and found out it was around 1 pm. CRAP!
Desperatly I tried to call Johnathan. I desperatly tried to mesenger him. Nothing. No repsonse.
I felt doomed. I thought I was going to have to rely on my old female.....female problems we'll call it.
So 1 pm comes around.......I sluggishly drag my rear into the car and to the grandparents' home.
It actually wasn't as bad the first few mintues I was there. It only got worse when we all went into the dining room and my grandfather decides to pat my rear as if I'm a 3 year old child again.
Honestly I do not believe he means it in a bad way. I think he's just honestly dumb about females and what NOT to do. The men on that side of the family have proved one thing they have: Stupidety.
Family all sits down at the table. Hardly any conversation exists. Then my dad decides to bring up about how the magpies are making "messes" on one of his wind machines.
This is where is peaks in dinner conversation there.
All the while I kept thinking. He's not gonna call me. I knew it! I knew it! He's so going to pay for this!
But no my friend came through, and did a excellent job of acting on the phone. Of course it dosen't take much when on the phone, but whatever! The point is that I got outta there and celebrated with the latest issue of Rolling Stone mag under my arm.
So that leads me to the here and now. I'm not proud by any means of what I did today. I dont like to lie, but the best way I am going to try to justify it is, just spend 14 years with grandpa and grandma horst and you'd know my reasons why.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Champagne makes work better!

Really it does. The reasons for that is my boss can somtimes get a bit stressed or confused by her own thoughts. But once we've broken open a bottle.......its smooth sailing the rest of the day.
The day actually started out quiet nicely, I contructed some sort of flower-votive holder that took on alot of compliments from customers.
Yes, I feel validated now. har har!
Soooo after the day dragged on, my boss decided to crack open the champagne and that usually starts around 2pm. We start early................
After having a few cups, I started to relax a bit, and found almost any words coming out a person's mouth funny. I didn't get it either but when I heard this little 4 year old say "thats shit" I couldn't stop snickering.
Now as I sit here tapping away at the key board, drinking lots of pots of tea to wash out the rest of the alcohol.........I think..........How on earth am I going to survive tomorow's Easter dinner???
My mind thinks: Maybe its not going to be that awful........your just making a bigger deal out of it than you really should.
My real inner thoughts: Maybe I should just really listen to my boss instead and bribe my grandmother with goodies, while chugging down a bottle of champagne and making my escape.
So until tomorow evening, I'll you all know how the day my easter-escape went. Will it blow over? OR Will I be homefree?
Only the Easter Bunny and Jesus know.

Friday, April 14, 2006


I don't know why I'm even talking about this.......probably because its so frickin funny. But if you've ever seen photos of people who've had too much to drink or are still recovering after those 6 vodka shots, you'll find yourself laughing.
After visiting that guy I meet over in Ellensburg this past week, I remembered when he showed me a picture of the worst drunken photo. At first I thought "why the hell is showing me this?"
This is the part where all my grandparents' and strict upholding people in my life come in to try and block me from laughing.
But yeah I didn't care cause it was so funny... I still laugh about it
He sorta reminded me of this puffer fish..........only really bloated, coked over and still drunk at 7 am.
Yeah, if you ever want to get back at some idiot for screwing you over, I'd say just mail the drunk photo of the person to every known relative.
I know people are vying to have yet to get a photo of me at my worst, but I say good luck idiots!

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Lessons Learned

I recently took a trip to meet somone whom I thought would be interesting. And interesting it was.
So lemme back up...........waaaayy back to get this story right. It all started when I saw his picture on a very famous site I'm sure you alll know about. Anyway after corresponding back and forth for awhile and telling a few friends about it. I began to having questionable feelings in a my heart about him. I guess I could actually say they were warnings in my heart.
For the longest while I had been feeling so blue and bored with my life so meeting somone new and had that badass image proved to be irrisistable to a girl like me. I had been there before and knew what it was like, and I also knew the results of hanging around a person of that nature.
So anyway, things and emotions began to stir in my heart about this guy. I knew without evening meeting him that he wasn't a Christian nor held any values related to that.
I didn't care, I was sooo bored with my life it was terrible. I had been complaing to God for a long while that I was giving on this waiting bit and I was sick of almost closely leading the life of a pre-nun.
But the warnings in my heart did not go away as I consulted some friends who warned me about some choices they made and regretted. I cried and was angry about it for awhile but eventually gave up and figured I was better off just being where I was.
So then, I got a message from him I had forgotten about. Suddenly all those conversations and warnings in my heart dissapeared oddly. I decided to just live and meet him and have fun. And there isn't anything wrong with that, its just doing it without making an ass out of yourself or falling away from yourself.
So I made a date to come, and was very excited beforehand and I even prayed that God wouldn't let me do somthing stupid I would regret and clearly He did watch over me during the time I spent there, even though most of you would brush off that nothing could have happened anyway, the fact is just never know.
So I drove up there, the farthest I had ever driven myself. Pathetic? Very! But my trust in mapquest has been renewed.
So during the time I spent with him, sorta getting to know him, I honestly did have a good time dispite coming in the middle of the week.
He was handsome, different, and seemed to be well rounded.........but I nothing really connected me with him. No offense if anyone related to him is reading this.
Don't get me wrong, he is a gorgeous guy, who is very intriguing and as much as I would love to get to know him more, I won't move unless he decides to and I have a good guess that he won't be doing that anytime sooner or later.
So anyway, with that I don't regret this trip. It actually taught me alot. That I had God's hand on me today...though I know many of you probably won't understand that part, thats okay.
I now know that I am capable of driving long distances, how I can let my expectations get the best of me in times like these, and how the direction of my life is going in the choices I am making now.
Strange how all that came together in my head during this time and I admit I felt sorta decieved in the beginning it was partly my fault due to a false image I had in my mind about things. Luckily I learned a few tricks before doing anything I might have really regreted.
Life Goes On
The End

Monday, April 10, 2006


So its come down to this. I must know what all of you secrectly munch on during this holy holiday.
One thing is for sure in my little family....candy and cookies are always present at every holiday. Except for the 4th of July......that dosen't count.
Now I'm personally more of a peep n' cadbury egg gal. I just love anything mushy or melty.
I too of course always got stuck with the random jelly beans. I always threw those away to poor unsuspecting animals......or friend's I didn't care for much.
Man I was on such a sugar high each month.... that probably explains all those shakes I had as a kid.....
Soooo What's Your Favorite Easter Candy?
Cadbury Eggs
crappy jelly beans
Choco bunny
Malted Eggs
Reese's Peanut Butter Egg
I don't eat easter candy
Free polls from

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Movie day

Right, I know that I am 21 years of age. Waaayyy beyond the cartoon-loving age when I could literally sit all day and watch pointless drawn characters in a box. It was pure magic.
So I'm actually quiet into anime. No, not the porno sickos! I'm talking about the classical stories such as Spirited Away.
Sunday.....the most lethargic day of the week. My favorite.
After talking mum into getting some movies, I decided to pick up Howl's Moving Castle.
A supurb movie with lovely music and a great story. I don't know why I fall for this type of animation.......very strange.......
oh yeah I lost track just to prove my obession I tracked down some stills from the movie. Enjoy
Why on earth I stuck the poster from it on here, I'll never know. Unless you do. Tell me please!
One, thing about movies from that its all out humans changing into monsters or feathery creatures, and good and evil demons. I was raised that "demon" meant bad. But hey........
Veeeerrryyyyy interesting scene. Just to irritate you all I won't explain it. You have to rent the movie.

Friday, April 07, 2006

sooo bored

I decided to take a break from exposing my family this week. I figure I'll leave the rest up to when I am getting married and then everything blows over. Meanwhile I'm desperatly trying to get over a sickness, and all the while I'm doped up on self-adrenaline because I'm meeting a guy next week.
Now since I do not like exposing or telling many people about my dating life, I'm keeping this quiet. Its a combination of superstition and I just like to have certain things private. Just take a lesson from our celebs. News such as that travels at lightening speed in my family. It usually goes like this: mom to dad to his parents to uncle then somehow back to me, when I am left speechless.

I am suriving work also, dispite having a rift with my ego-happy boss. I figure as long as I come in with a smile on my face and rake in as much dough as I can I'm in the safe zone. Unless she randomly gets mad...........again.
I am too sheltered!

So with that, I am just truckkin along.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006


Shes the little girl on the left with the hairclips. This must have been taken around 1956.
Here she is again with my grandpapa, right before getting married. Forgive me, but I my popo reminds me of a seedy used-car salesman. But mom looks good though!
Ah, the wedding picutres, those forced moments where you put on a smile. She always says she hated her wedding dress. I don't know why because compared to most of 1980 weddings, I thought she was very nice. No major puffed sleeves, but then again it was 1981 so everyone was still on a hangover from the 70's.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006


Aww tiz me, baby Heather. Age 1. Yes I had a fondness for leaves in those days.
Did I spill the beans? Yeah okay it was a lame joke. But really I can't explain how I got that jar open or why we had such a ugly refridgerator.
My first day of pre-school. Yes, we had orange crush carpet in my old house on our stairs. But it was so was cool. I'd also like to know why my hair is so electric in that pic.
Ch-Ch-China town. My little outfit from San Fran I picked up. I don't know my age in this pic, but obviously I was very young. hehe
Ooooooooohhhhh my old slumber-birthday parties! I loved those and had the best fun! I had such cute friends...........who bought me great gifts all the time.....sigh....those days are gone..........

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Family Secrets and Photos of my past

I had a really hard time finding baby photos of me. I honestly don't know if mom got mad and destroyed them or we just plain lost a bunch. Its a shame because I was so cute. Anyway, I loved our trip to Hawaii so much I wanted to include it. This is my pre-akward stage into adolencense.
This trip was the best because I really roamed free in Hawaii and felt safe. My dad was stuck in the hotel due to 2nd degree burns (dummy didn't use sunscreen) while my mom tended to dad. Lucky for me I only got burned on my eyelids. hehe. Odd I know.
Many people know my grandfather, but many people don't know that he had a white man's fro! This secret was kept from me until I was snoopy enough to discover it myself in the family files. Shocking isn't it?
My youngin grandparents (all these pics by the way are my mom's cool side of the familia) Again this was taken in hawaii where they lived for a good long while during the war, then came back home to San Fran.
God, if they only still made clothes like that! This is my grammie (Bonnie Reese Hughes) right after she got married to my popo (Byron Hughes) who was in the Navy. She flew all the way from San Fransisco to marry him.
Yet another ravishing photo. This was taken before I was born. Before the world really existed I should say, pre-1984. This obviously was for halloween, because my family isn't that odd....right? right?
Still I'm grateful for a grandmother who still remains ever so young and ageless.
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