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Saturday, May 27, 2006

I............

I didn't even know what to title this post as, it really dosen't matter because my heart is so heavy.
Most people think your a crazy person for loving a cat so much, although I was never one to stuff my poor kitty into air-tight outfits to parade around was a general favorite of everbody. But, now my yellow cat (sunshine) whom we've had for many years seems to be slowly dying. Its almost to horrifying for me to even look at him, I just almost wish he would peacefully die out in the field somwhere. But looking at him today and seeing the bones pop out of him I just want to cry and care for the poor little dear. I just don't know whats wrong.
My parents, both unwilling to help, even take him to a vet, I just see that they really don't love animals. They figure if it gets sick, then its the time for it to die.
I keep reminding myself to remember look who I'm talking to half the time. My dad. He had to shoot his own favorite dog because the animal was getting old!! I couldn't imagine doing that to my own cat, somthing that I've loved for so long and shared many fond memories stroking, and having somone to tag along with and then just blankly shoot him.
Please just rip out my heart and slice each piece into bloody strips so I can never learn to love another animal!
You know how most people treat their animals like as childeren, I think this belief applies to most as well; that they will outlive their pet to an extent.
I can remember asking my dad as a little girl if their was a heaven for good animals, of course my father replies with a "no, God dosn't have a heaven for animals because they do not have souls". Okkkkaayyyy......just break my heart again please. If you ever have childeren and they ask that question and happen to be under a certain age, just say you either don't know or lie!
Soooo I dont really have a point here, except that my heart is breaking currently over there, I just hate to bury an animal...............clearly I really haven't exiperenced much loss in my life..........or at least to anyone that I was really close to.
Everyone is equal to death.

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