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Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Sooo what did I do today???

I peed in a cup.
Yup.
Drug test.
Because I know most of you already knew about that stash of meth I've got in the back of our ermmm barn.......
Right, well aside from that I did in fact get the great exiperience of going through a drug test for my counceling job this summer.
I walked into work, boss pulls me in her office and says I must go to have "a pee test".
Greeeaaaattttttt.
So I found the dinky little lab and sat myself what supposedly was a waiting room among some guy from vietnam and older woman who had the worst legs I had ever seen! I'm talking vericose veins people! Eesssshhh the future.
So anyway, I sit myself down trying to avoid eye contact or conversation with the weird leg lady, but alas she starts blabbering about some tree.
I try to not look like I'm listening, but its hard not to hear crazy people am I right? People from NY I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.
Anyhoo, I actually was pretty prepaired for not knowing that I was to take a pee test today.
I had two liters of water this morning. Yes, I'm a thirsty girl in the mornin. Time to cleanse.
So I sit and wait etc etc etc.....forever and a day, you get the idea......and then pops in my partner Sarah. Hehehehe little did she know she had a longer wait than me.
Finally the nurse pulls me back and marks a line on the cup and says that I absolutely must pee to that mark otherwise....my pee is no good. Gee how can that be?
After taking a good stare at the mark, I tell her that I probably don't have that much right now, and then proceeds to give me a cup of the nastiest tap water ever. I think they made it that crappy just so your body would feel gross and HAVE to expell it!
Amazling it worked.....plus I got sick of conversation.
So away I go....again.
This time I knew I could do it. The nurse again reminds me of hitting the mark and leads me to the back bathroom. Oddly enough I wasn't allowed to flush the toliet....but there was toilet paper???
So I had no sink....nothing to really ermmmm help? Which left me feeling like such dork because I had no clue how to do this. I've never had to pee in a cup nor do I much like having to clean up anything if you catch my drift.
So after cluelessly wondering what to do I finally manage and come out sucessful.
Oddly, I felt sorta proud for being able to pee in a cup. Maybe its really true about that whole Frued and his penis-envey theory after all.
Not only that but I got to inital my pee too. Classy.
Thankfully it was all over and I was too happy to run outta there. The whole time in the bathroom kept me thinking how often do they clean this? and who used it last.......like that trucker I saw..........shudders.
But at least I survived, and now know that if I'm ever stuck in a bad situation where the only place to go is a cup.......I CAN do it!

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